2025-03-03
its so fuckign cold right now. and im going to have to walk to a stupid fucking place and its going to fukcing suck. i fucking hate walking so fucking much. or a least to and from [LOCATION THAT I HAVE TO WALK TO AND FROM] cuz theres a bunch of fucking cars which are loud as hell.... and also i dont like having a bunch of people in cares looking at me. whatever. im going to have to do it in like an hour and im dreading it. i think whenever im on my meds i care a lot less about divulging personal info... i mean not like personal persona info, but like... idk the fact that hate myself. AH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FucKF UFCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FuCK FucK FUCK FUCK FUC FCUFCKFU CKFUCK FUCK FucK FUCK FucjK FuKufFUCK FCU. okay nvm its fine. haha. fuck im so fucking stupdi ahahah. x33. sorry about that i had to communicate with someone and uh. im not very good at that. i mean whatever. i think if i thought about it for more than 0.0001 seconds i would realize how basically nothing bad is going to come from it. Ughx2. you ever feel like you chose to define yourself in such arbitrary ways that it kinda calls into question if you even really have a identity or if its just a bunch of bullshit?w? LMAO that sucks! for you. because im assuming you said yes. i dont have anything like that!!! or something. this is the kinda shit i need to type in the infinite scrolling text thing so noone can actually read it. i dont want just anyone to know about my existential dread!! that should be reserved for people who sit on the home page for an unreasonable amount of time x3.
i just added the future me note to the last yap, and uh. now i have a headaque fuck fuck fuckfc ufk csdfjsdakfjk holy shit i wanna sleep or something. fuck this fucking sucks. ugh.... im going to have to walk fuckkk its going to be so fukcing annoooyyyingng... whatever. i just thought about some bullshit to put on the scrollbar in the homepage, so ima do that now.
2025-02-18
whatevever. its been a few days since ive actually worked on this and i kinda want to type stuff so im here i guess. I don't know why past me didn't put a date on the furst one but whatever. btw furst is like a nepeta pun or something. ugh who cares. anyway. i think i kinda like my shitty writing style. just cuz like idk. sometimes you leave something you wrote a few months ago, and then you read it and it addresses you! like uh. i mean it brings up "future me", from the past me's purrspective... whatever. what im trying to articulate is that i don't really hate my stupid writing style that much but like... i guess im worried people will think im tarnishing the art of making a website... with my stupid writing and shit... which actually sounds so fucking stupid now that im typing it. haha holy fuck. whatever. ughhhhh... random omionus message time thing or whaatever... i uh,,, dont really see a path forward for myself and its kinda maken me nervious hahahahahahahahah,,,,,, haha,,, fjsals sldag lsakdhfkljsadh fkjsdaflhds fucjkkkk fuck fuckf uck... uh... imagine this is a horror game, and you are watching some footage where the people die at the end... but instead its me... and im like,, exploding from embarrasment or something... ugh who knows. whatever... sorry.
WOW HOLY FUCK. WHO THE HELL IS GOING TO WANT TO READ THIS SHIT.., FASHFJKSDHFKJDS FUCK!!!!
(UPDATE FROM THE FUTURE: I was worried for no fucking reason. what an idiot past me is, lets both take a moment to laugh at the ignorance put on display here. what a bozo. i hate that bitch. or something. whatever. im kinda playing it up a litle bit, even though i think part of my brain does get some sick kick out of shittalking past me's. its not like. weird or anything. but idk, acknowledging that past me is a dumb ass fucking bitch means that i am immune to all critisim. or something like that. certified homestuck moment. god im cooked.)
YAPPING
ugh, is there a convinent way to make this work good? and be ez 2 edit???? who fucking knows. probably an iteration of me who is better at researching things, or asking questions in general i guess. whatever. i uh. dont really know what to yap about rn given im mostly writing this shit so that the yapping tab doesn't lead to the error thing.
why would anyahone want to read my stupid words anyway, i think my writing style is annoying as fuck but maybe im looking at this wrong, given i dont think anyone will see this, so i should probably just be writing shit for funsies. huh. wowie. anyway yeah thats my first yapping!!!!! cuz like.. its just gonna be a thing i add 2 whenever i wnat to yap about stuff. or somethign... whatever... hopefully future me gets use out of this or something... (HI FUTURE ME!!! I TOLERATE YOU!!!!!)